The Cloud

I have felt as though I was in a cloud once. I also felt as though I was a "pilot flying through the mist, and I lost all sense of direction". 

I felt lost when I first entered my laboratory and had to read Post doc papers on my he development of an embryo and mutations. It was all too complicated to me. I needed to understand why certain areas development at a certain time post fertilization because that explains which areas are developed, which in turn explain what mutations one zebra fish or one family of zebra fish may have. At times I've felt so flustered with the new information on genetics and cells and procedures, that I completely forget the purpose of the experiment and get too carried away trying to understand the different proteins and their functions. 

Being the youngest in the laboratory, I felt as though I was unable to bring anything completely new to the table. Just as the Ted talk explained, science prepares us to "come on stage and fail". I look back at my failure as when I first began the new experiment, because before I was able to bring results, I had to constantly repeat procedures because I made minor mistakes such as pipette errors or solution mixture contents mix ups. These were mistakes that the lab knew how to fix without starting all over, but that I couldn't.  So then as I began receiving results and recording them in my chart for each marker, I realized that I AM bringing something to the table. 

I truly believe we are part of the schema of research. I do experiments that do not have the results I prefer, and I get lost in the cloud. The boundary of the known and the unknown change my basic assumptions and have me stuck in the cloud, as the Ted Talk describes. 

I see the cloud as an opportunity because I learn how to get out of that "block". I get to brainstorm more and find loopholes and creativity. This is definitely an extremely negative feeling at first, but it becomes positive with great discoveries.